How to grow your mental fitness & tame the internal critic….

Start with your ‘Saboteurs’ – Also Known as ‘Our Internal Critic’ or ‘Negative Self Talk’

Positive Intelligence, Shirzard Chamine, The Avoider Saboteur

Our mindset influences our behaviours. Saboteurs are the negative thoughts that become habitual and work against our best interests, particularly in challenging situations. They are often developed from childhood and can create stress, anxiety, and roadblocks in our lives if you listen to them too much.

Whilst external factors may challenge us, how we react to our saboteurs can cause self-sabotage. One example is the voice in your head that may say ‘I am not good at this, don’t do it’ when you are asked to present to an audience on your expertise.  The sage mindset is coming from wisdom, experience, and insight on how to manage challenging situations. The sage mindset might say, ‘Remember you know more than the audience on this topic’.

Positive Intelligence is a way of measuring or assessing how much you are mastering your own mind or another way to look at it is your level of mental fitness!

The Positive Intelligence indicator (PQ) has been developed by Shirzad Chamine, Home | Positive Intelligence based on his extensive coaching and research on how people’s mindset affects their success to overcome challenges.

The assessment looks at your Top Saboteurs! We all have them. Think about that internal voice that leads you to avoid situations or people, or when you play the role of Victim, or perhaps when you display those A -type Hyper Achiever traits, or are constantly making Judgements about yourself or others, or maybe you are a people Pleaser! There are 10 core Saboteurs and most of us have a couple that are big and can cause us a lot of stress and anxiety

This exercise will help you to identify your top saboteurs and watch out for situations that may trigger these negative thoughts. Then develop strategies to manage a positive mindset and flip into your sage mindset before acting on your saboteurs.  Completing this exercise will also help you to understand other people’s saboteurs too.  Download the exercise below.

Ted Talk

Before completing the exercise and taking the assessment you may like to watch the 20 minute Ted Talk by Shirzard Chamine Know your inner saboteurs: Shirzad Chamine at TEDxStanford – Bing video

If you are experiencing stress, anxiety and don’t feel that your mentally as strong as you would like to be, this is the perfect first step to start making some positive changes to your mental fitness and wellbeing.

Click here learn more about the Positive Intelligence Mental Fitness Program with Diversitas Coaching.

Why Women Need to Negotiate Their Salary More!

Image Source – Unsplash

I have been speaking and writing on the topic of women and salary negotiation for some years now. As a working woman with children (including a daughter) it is a topic that I am passionate about. Throughout my career I have been fortunate to work with many amazing men and women. However as has traditionally been the way, the women have remained underpaid in relation to their male counterparts. While this is gradually changing, there certainly needs to be more support to assist women in both preparing for and having these discussions.

Take heart if you are one of those women who find is the whole concept of salary negotiation unsettling – it is completely normal.  It appears that women more so than men find salary negotiation entirely daunting and as such avoid it. This is to their detriment when it comes to their pay checks.  Certainly, employers could be more forthcoming in relation to setting up and encouraging salary negotiation meetings however let’s be realistic this is never going to happen. The responsibility sits with working women to take charge and initiate these conversations more than we have been doing. It is the only way.  If you do not ask you don’t get! 

Some of the reasons why women resist engaging in salary negotiation and career promotion conversations include our different personality types, social conditioning, overvaluing competency, over-thinking the process, lack of confidence and simply failing to act. Without acting nothing will change. 

For those looking for support and guidance in conducting the salary negotiation, I have written The Busy Women’s Guide to… Salary Negotiation. The guide has been written to provide the essential information and tools women all over the world need to conduct an effective salary negotiation. All you have to do is follow the process and start the negotiation ball rolling – be it with your current employer or a new employer.   Important note: this guide is just as useful for men as it is for women who struggle with engaging in salary package negotiation conversations.

There are countless stories I can share of women (& men) who have used this guide to support them in engaging in salary package negotiations. The key is that they invested time in understanding their value to prospective employers and were willing to back themselves and have a conversation (or email) to demonstrate this value. As they say if you don’t ask you don’t get. The worst they can say is No. Which may mean no never or just not now!

One client I coached recently used the guide, and in a session with me was able to double her salary. Another recently used the guide to have a conversation to gain the highest pay scale that the position was offering, this was after they told her she would come on board at the lowest of the pay scale. Others have shared with me how using the guide and going through the process has led to them securing higher salary packages.

“A huge thank you for your support with my salary negotiation. Your advice helped me to be more confident in the negotiations – I was able to achieve the highest rate!” HR Professional 

To learn more reach out below or email kelly@kellymagowan.com